


What Could Have Been

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-30 08:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long lost love of Jim’s shows up in Cascade and throws him for a loop.  The only real problem is Jim belongs to Blair and Jim doesn’t seem to remember that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is more of an answer to this story in the second part. Please read both.

What Could Have Been  
By Patt

 

Summary: A long lost love of Jim’s shows up in Cascade and throws him for a loop. The only real problem is Jim belongs to Blair and Jim doesn’t seem to remember that.   
Word Count: 2763  
Warnings: Angst  
Genre: Slash  
Rating: Teen

 

Jim was lounging on the sofa with Blair, watching the nightly news, just relaxing and soaking up Blair. This was one of his favorite things to do. Neither of them was in the mood for sex, they just loved being together sometimes. Everything was not always about sex. Contrary to what Brown and Rafe had told them many times. 

Jim said, “There’s someone coming to our door and I don’t recognize the scent or the sound. Let’s ignore her.”

“Her? You know that it’s a woman?” Blair asked. 

“Yeah, I can smell her perfume. And women’s heartbeats are different than men’s. Like I said, just ignore the knock.”

“That is so cool, that you noticed the difference between genders. Jim this is awesome. Let me get up and answer the door,” Blair said, trying to get up. 

“She seems to be trying to decide if she wants to knock or not. Ignore her,” Jim instructed and knew that Blair would ignore him, not her. 

Blair shot off the sofa and opened the door up, scaring the poor woman in the hallway. 

“Hi, can I help you?” Blair asked. 

“I’m looking for Jim Ellison, I must have the wrong place,” she said. 

“No, you have the right place. He lives here. Let me get him,” Blair said, leaving the woman in the doorway of their loft. 

“Jim, it’s a woman, for you,” Blair said, sounding just a tad insecure. Jim smiled at him and said, “I told you to ignore her.” Jim got up and looked at the woman in the doorway and was shocked. He couldn’t believe his eyes. It was Christine Summers and she was alive. They had told Jim she was dead when he got back from Peru. 

“Christine, I thought you were dead,” Jim said, softly as not to scare her. 

She got tears in her eyes and said, “Jim, you look wonderful. Not dead at all. We were both told lies. I was in cascade and your dad showed me your picture from the newspaper and I couldn’t believe you were alive. Can I come in?”

“I’m sorry, of course. Come in. Christine, you look wonderful and hardly any older then when we saw each other last,” Jim said, sweetly. 

“Oh Jim, you are such a good liar. I know that I look every bit my age, but now that I see how good you look, I’m feeling better about my life in general.”

Jim moved in closer and they hugged. A long, leisurely hug, that was bothering Blair to no end. Blair really felt like a third wheel and he shouldn’t in his own home with his lover. Jim seemed to have forgotten that he was even there. 

Finally, Jim backed up and asked, “Where have you been all this time?” 

“I was teaching in Africa. I’ve always wanted to teach, but you know, I needed to meet your dad and ask him about your death. I’m glad I did. That’s when I found out you were alive. Your dad was most kind to me, Jim. When I cried, he hugged me, like I was family,” Christine said. 

“So, Chris, what are you doing here? Are you staying in town or what?” Jim asked, still not introducing Blair to Christine, irritating Blair. 

“I came back for closure. I met someone that I thought I might be in love with, but I needed to close the books on you first. And it seems, I was mistaken, as I still feel like I’m in love with you. I hope that doesn’t bother you,” Christine said. 

Blair couldn’t believe this was happening. His worst fucking nightmare and her name was Christine. She was gorgeous and sweet to boot. Blair walked over to them and said, “I’m Jim’s better half. My name is Blair Sandburg.”

“Sorry, Blair, I got caught up in what was happening and forgot about you. Yes, this is my better half, Blair. He’s a teacher at Rainier University and a police observer, too.”

Blair wondered if Jim realized how horrible that sounded when he said he’d forgotten about Blair. Blair was ready to smack this woman and throw her out. Jim on the other hand looked like he wanted to invite her to spend the night with them. 

“Jim, I didn’t realize you were with anyone, your dad didn’t say anything. He told me to come over and see you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” Christine said. 

“You aren’t intruding at all, is she, Blair?” Jim asked. 

“Not at all. This is Jim’s home as well as mine, so you’re welcome to visit any time you want to,” Blair said. 

“How nice of you, Blair,” Christine said, coldly. Blair knew he was in for a heck of a lot of trouble. 

“No problem, Christine. I encourage him seeing old friends. Where did you meet?” Blair asked. 

“We met on base, fell in love and planned our future life before we both got shipped out. I didn’t come back right away from my mission and Jim didn’t either. I asked about Jim when I came back and they said he was dead. I had no idea, Jim was alive, or I would have started looking then. We never got our future. And I for one, feel very cheated, don’t you, Jim?”

Jim looked at her sadly and went to answer and Blair said, “Things change over the years, though and Jim isn’t the same person he was then. He’s got a new life, a new love and we have a future. So, I think you should think about taking that other man up on his offer.” Blair wanted to pace in the worst way, but knew that he couldn’t let her see how upset he was. 

“Jim, I don’t want to cause trouble, but I need you to think about the two of us and really think about what you would like for your future,” Christine said, sweetly. 

Jim said, “But, I’m with Blair now, Christine.”

“So, you won’t even give me a few days of thought? I’m sure Blair would like you to know for sure who you want to be with. Take three days and think about our past and our future and then call me either way. I’ll go with whatever you say. But I do insist that Blair not be here to influence you while you’re thinking about your future.”

“But, Christine, he lives here,” Jim said, sounding lost. 

Blair stood close to Jim and said, “I can stay with Megan if you want me to.”

“I’m sorry, Chief. I do have to think about this. I would appreciate if I didn’t see either of you for the next three days while I decide what’s most important to me,” Jim explained. 

Blair was devastated, but didn’t show it. “I’ll pack and get ready to go. Christine, maybe you could give me a ride over to Megan’s since my car is in the shop.”

“That’s fine. I’d like to talk to you anyway,” Christine said. 

Blair went into the office and called Megan and told her what was going on. Megan said, “Bring everything, that drongo doesn’t deserve you anyway.”

Blair knew he was going to have to listen to Megan bitching, but it was the only place he could go. He went upstairs and packed and got everything he needed and walked down the stairs to see Jim looking out the balcony doorway. Jim looked lost. Blair knew it was difficult for the man, but right now Blair really didn’t want to make this any easier on Christine. He walked over to Jim and touched his back. “Jim, you know where I am, if you need me. Call me day or night. I’m there for you.”

“I don’t think it would be good if we talked to him either. Those three days, he has to choose one of us and he can’t do that if we’re calling him or coming over here. Do you promise that you won’t call him, Jim?” she asked. 

Jim sighed and said, “I’ll have my answer in three days. Goodnight,” Jim said as he walked up the stairs, without saying anything more to either of them. 

Blair’s heart was pounding inside his chest. He knew he had already lost. Jim had such a look of love and loss on his face. He must have really loved her. Blair found out that he didn’t really care. He only cared that he and Jim would be together in three days. He also realized that he hated Christine with a passion. 

They walked out the front door and Blair locked up after he shut it. 

When they got into Christine’s car, she asked, “Why didn’t you rent a car while yours was in the shop?”

“Because, Jim insisted that he could take me everywhere and why spend money when we didn’t need to. I wanted to, but Jim thought it was a waste,” Blair answered. 

“I’m sorry if you lose on this Blair. See, I have something to offer that you could never offer. I’m still young enough to have a child with him. We discussed it when we were in the service and we couldn’t wait. He’s going to think about that and realize he needs to have that bond with me.”

Blair sighed and said, “There are things that I can’t or won’t tell you about him and me. I don’t think a child is the answer to everything. He really does love me.”

“I could tell the way he forgot you were even in the room until you had to introduce yourself to me. Face it; I’m the one he’s always wanted. I’m from his past.”

“Christine, I’m from his present and I’m telling you, I’m not giving up. He loves me, no matter what you say or do, I know he does.”

“And why would Jim’s dad not tell me he was part of a couple? Is it because he doesn’t know or doesn’t approve?” Christine asked, going for the juggler. 

“He doesn’t know. He thinks we’re just roommates. That’s why he didn’t tell you,” Blair admitted. 

“I find that very sad, Blair. I can’t believe you stayed with a man that seems to be embarrassed of you,” Christine said. 

Blair just looked out the window and said, “Pull up right here. I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

“Fine, by me. Nice meeting you, Blair. I sure hope you don’t think you’re going to have anything to do with him once he chooses me, do you?” Christine asked. 

“Fuck you, Christine,” Blair shouted and got out of the car and got his things and started walking down the street. Thankfully, Megan only lived about a block from there, so he didn’t have to carry all of his things too far. All Blair could hear in the distance was laughter coming from Christine.

~~~~~~~~~~

Megan Connor was one mad woman. She had helped heartbroken Blair move into the spare room and then he asked if he could go to bed. She of course got him settled and left him alone. Blair had told her that she couldn’t say anything to Jim about this. He had to make his own mind up about it. 

Megan went into her room and dialed Jim’s number. 

“Hello?”

“What in the world are you doing to Sandy?” Megan asked. 

“I have to decide between the two of them and I would like to do it on my own. I don’t need any help from you at all. It’s none of your business,” Jim said, angrily. 

“Oh fuck you, Ellison. He’s my best mate. I thought you were too, but I can’t believe you threw him aside for her. He’s already given up. He wants you to be happy. And again, I say, fuck you.” Megan slammed the phone down and started to cry. 

Jim hung the phone up and thought, _He’s given up already? I’m not even worth fighting over?_

Jim went to bed and had messed up dreams. He would be kissing Blair and then he would open his eyes and see a pregnant Christine in his arms and they would continue kissing. Or he would be making love to Blair and Christine would be underneath him when he looked down again. She told him she was pregnant and happy to carry his child. Jim woke up and realized that he knew what he had to do. He did know what he wanted and he would tell Blair first. He got dressed and left the loft to drive over to Megan’s house, where he no doubt wasn’t welcome at all. 

He knocked on the door and Megan asked, “Are you here to lie to him or tell him the truth?”

“I’m here with the truth. I have to talk to him. It’s important,” Jim pleaded. 

“He’s in the first door to the left. Don’t make him cry or I’ll make you cry,” Megan said, angrily. 

Jim walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Blair was lying there facing the wall and said, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Tough. I want to tell you what I’m thinking. You can help me decide what I need to do about it.”

Blair turned around and said, “Fine, talk.”

“I want to have a child, Blair. Do you understand that?” Jim asked. 

“Of course I understand that. She said you would want one and she knew it to be true.”

“I had really messed up dreams tonight of kissing you and then it would be Christine. Then I was making love to you and then it was Christine. She informed me that she was pregnant and I was thrilled and then I was making love to you again and I was very happy. Can you explain this to me?” Jim asked, as he sat down on the bed. 

Blair sat up and said, “You’re mixed up. If she said she was pregnant, why would you end up making love to me again? I don’t get it.”

“I thought you’d be able to figure this out. I want to have a child,” Jim said. 

“You said that. And I understand,” Blair replied. 

“You said that before too. But, I don’t think you do understand. I want to have a child with you,” Jim said, smiling.

“With me? You chose me?” Blair said, excitedly and jumped into Jim’s lap. 

“Honestly, Chief, you should have kicked my ass for taking this long. She only wanted to have a child with me from the start. I didn’t get it until I had the dream. You and I had discussed adopting a child and that meant the world to me. I don’t want her, I want you.”

“Jim, I have something to say. I’m really angry with you right now, because you were paying so much attention to Christine. I don’t care what the circumstances were; you didn’t even introduce me to her. That’s low, man. And I can’t have her in your life if we’re going to stay together.”

“I’ll call her tomorrow and tell her. Now, let’s go home,” Jim said as he started picking up Blair’s things from the floor and putting them in his suitcase. 

“Call her now,” Blair said. 

Jim said, “Honestly, I don’t know where she is. She didn’t say where she’d be or give me her number so I have no way to call her.”

“Well, shit. That means she’s going to be coming back around again. And before I forget, you’re telling your dad about us. If he doesn’t like it, tough. But he won’t be getting Sunday night dinners anymore if he doesn’t come over.”

Jim laughed and said, “I’m ready, are you ready?”

“You know how you said you didn’t feel like making love earlier? Well, I’m going back on that and telling you, your ass if mine as soon as we get home,” Blair said, sounding once again in control. Just the way Jim liked him.

“I’m game. I love you, Chief, but I don’t want you to ever give up on me that easily,” Jim instructed. 

“You betcha. Now, let’s go home,” Blair said, happy as could be to be back in Jim’s life again. 

The end


	2. What Really Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine Summers came into Jim and Blair’s life like a whirlwind and told Jim he had to choose. Jim made his choice rather quickly and now he has to deal with Christine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Sandy_In Hawaii for being so loyal and asking for more. I hope it will do. I might add more as time goes on.

What Really Is  
By PattRose  
Summary: Christine Summers came into Jim and Blair’s life like a whirlwind and told Jim he had to choose. Jim made his choice rather quickly and now he has to deal with Christine.   
Warnings: Language  
Genre: Slash  
Rating: Teen  
Word Count: 1915  
A/N: This story is for Sandy_in_hawaii for asking for more to end this story better. Now there will be closure.

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/whatreallyis_zpsv5mog3lh.jpg.html)

Blair couldn’t believe that Jim picked him between Christine and himself. Christine was not only beautiful, but was ready to have a child with Jim. Blair thought he had quickly lost the war, but quite the opposite, Jim came to him and asked him to adopt a child with him. Now Jim had to tell Christine. And of course he wanted to do it alone, making Blair even more nervous. But, Blair knew he had to trust Jim. Jim said he loved him, he wanted a family with him, so Blair had to believe that to be true and let Jim do his thing.

“Chief, do you know where my jacket is?” Jim asked, somewhat nervously. 

“It’s hanging beside the front door, where it always is, man.” Blair honestly wanted to insist on going with him since he was acting crazy, but he had promised Jim he would let Jim do his thing. _I fuck at being logical._

“Sorry, Chief. I’m a little nervous about letting her down easily. It might break her heart,” Jim explained. 

“Jim, you’re not supposed to be letting her down easily, that will make you look weak. Take the upper hand and tell her to fuck off and go to hell.”

“Blair, I’m not saying that to Christine. She didn’t ask for that. It’s not her fault she’s in love with two men and didn’t know what to do.”

Blair glared at Jim and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was now officially pissed off. “Since you’re so worried about Christine all of a sudden, go be with her. Fuck you.” And with that said, Blair stomped up the stairs to their bedroom. 

Jim followed him up and pulled him into his arms. “Blair, I love you with all of my heart. But this is still going to be hard for me. I wish you could understand that.”

Blair pulled out of his arms and said, “Not only do I not understand, but I think you’re also putting off talking to your dad about us. You promised me we would tell him and you haven’t even called him yet. I think maybe you need to think more and I should move out.”

“You always threaten me. Why do you do that? You know I’m wild about you and yet you still don’t believe me.”

“Jim, call your dad right now and tell him about us and show me that you’re not embarrassed.”

“Jesus Christ, I can’t tell him over the phone. I thought ‘we’ could tell him this Sunday over dinner.”

“Really? You hadn’t mentioned that so I figured you were just putting it off. I would be glad to help you on Sunday. Thank you, man.”

“Okay, I’m being ridiculous about Christine. Let me call her and tell her to come here. You can help me tell her this too. How does that sound?”

“Great. It sounds perfect.”

Jim picked his cell up and dialed her number and let it ring, hoping she wasn’t there. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Christine, it’s me, Jim. I wanted you to come over to my apartment so we can talk to you.”

“We? As in you and Blair? I thought we were staying away until three days were up. I didn’t realize we could do it earlier than we had agreed on. That’s not one bit fair, Jim.”

“Christine, I love him. It’s as simple as that. We plan to have a family together and we love each other. I’m hoping you can understand.”

“You haven’t heard the last of me, Jim Ellison. Understand this, prick…” and the phone was closed without a goodbye. 

Jim turned to Blair and said, “We don’t have to worry about telling her anything. And she said I was a prick.”

“She wouldn’t do anything crazy would she, Jim?”

“I hope not. The only crazy thing she could really do would be to tell my dad or our work. And I really don’t see her doing that.”

“Just in case, Jim, why don’t we go to your dad’s house and talk to him?”

“Let me call and be sure he’s home.”

Jim heard the phone ringing and heard, “Ellison.”

“Hi Dad, I was calling to see if you were going to be home in the next hour. Blair and I have something to tell you.”

A cold and bitter man answered, “I already know and I don’t want to see either of you again.”

“Dad, let me talk to you about it.”

“I don’t want to talk to you about it. Christine said you passed on marriage to her and having children with her to stay with your roommate. I don’t understand that and I never will.”

“She shouldn’t have told you, we were planning on telling you on Sunday when you came for dinner.”

“Why would I ever want to have dinners with two men that lied to me for however long and were ashamed of it? Now suddenly, you want to tell me? Forget it. I’m done with you, Jimmy. Don’t call me again.”

“As you wish,” Jim said sadly and closed his cell phone. 

Blair could tell by the look on Jim’s face that things weren’t good. “That bitch told him, didn’t she? She’s evil. I’m so sorry, Jim.”

“Why should you be sorry? We didn’t do anything other than keep something private. Shit… I bet she’ll go to our work and do the same thing.”

The phone rang at that moment and Jim could see it was Simon. 

“Hi, Simon.” 

“Don’t hi Simon me. Some stupid woman came down here today and told everyone about you and Blair. A lot of the cops are saying they want you fired. What in the hell is going on, Jim? I thought I asked you to keep it quiet.”

“I did keep it quiet, Simon. That was all Christine’s doing. She’s mad because I wouldn’t marry her and have babies with her. She wouldn’t accept that I’m gay and wanted to be with Blair. She warned me that she would do something. I’m really sorry. I will hand in my resignation tomorrow.”

“Fuck that, you’re not resigning. I need you in my squad. The bullpen needed a little spice to shake it up. You’ll be here tomorrow, along with Blair and just ignore the looks and snide remarks.”

“Thank you, Simon. I didn’t know what I was going to do for a new job.”

“Jim, don’t fool yourself, you could work anywhere with your abilities. That bitch had better be done,” Simon barked. 

“She wasn’t done, she called and told my dad. So my dad disowned me.”

“Oh, fuck…”

“I gotta go, Simon. Blair wants to talk to me.”

“I’ll see you both tomorrow morning.” 

Jim turned to Blair and asked, “What are you doing on the computer?” 

“I’m doing fun things while you’re doing shitty things. I know it’s not fair, but we have an appointment with an adoption agency tomorrow afternoon. We’ll tell Simon tomorrow morning. While you were on the phone, I got three emails from them. They want to know if we would take older children instead of babies. I told her both would be good for us. Is that all right?”

“I can’t believe you figured out where to go already.” Jim hugged Blair close and kissed him. “I love you so much. I’m a little sad right now.”

Blair pulled out of his arms and asked, “About Christine?” 

“No, you moron. About my dad. I could care less about Christine. She’s a bitch and showed her colors beautifully, didn’t she?”

“We should warn her boyfriend,” Blair suggested. 

“Nope, I never want to think about her again. So, tomorrow we find out about adopting a child, huh?”

“Are you sure about this, Jim?”

“I adore you and the only thing I’m worried about right now is if we should buy a house or not. I think it would be easier to adopt with a house instead of a little room under the stairs, you know?”

“Oh my God, you’re considering a move? This is very exciting. I’ve been looking at houses while you were on the phone but didn’t know how to bring it up to you.”

“Blair, we have to talk to each other about this shit, or we’ll never make it. Now, show me those houses.”

“Only if you let me call and sweet-talk your dad after we’re done looking.”

“Sweet-talking won’t help him. He’s stubborn,” Jim admitted. 

Blair smiled and asked, “Have you met me?”

“Okay, deal. You could also tell him we’re looking into adopting. That would be nice if he would consider being in our lives for a child. Who am I kidding? It would be nice for me. I liked having dinners with him on Sunday.”

“Let me go and sweet-talk him right now. You sit here at the computer and I’ll be back in a flash.”

Jim sat down and started looking at the houses that Blair had bookmarked and liked all of them. They were also affordable. Not that Jim was trying to be cheap, but he wanted to have more extra money for a child, not all money going towards a house payment. Jim was looking like crazy and realized that Blair had been in the office for almost an hour. Jim couldn’t believe they were still talking. He thought for sure that William would have hung up on Blair after five minutes. At that moment, the door opened and a smiling Blair walked out. 

“I am a miracle worker. Bow down to me, Jim Ellison.”

Jim laughed, but still got on his knees and bowed before Blair. “Oh mighty one, what did you do?”

“I promised him we would not keep things from him from here on in. I promised him dinner twice a week instead of once and I promised that he would be getting a grandchild eventually. This pleased him to no end. And he told me to tell you he was sorry for what he said to you. He does love you and wants to be in your life. I think you should call him really fast and tell him you love him too.”

Jim smiled at Blair. He got up from the floor and said, “When I’m done, I’ll be thanking you. So get upstairs and wait for me.”

“Yes, sir. I love following orders.” Blair practically ran up the stairs, making Jim laugh very long and hard. It was a good sound to hear in the loft. 

Jim went in the office and called his dad. They talked for an hour. When Jim hung up he knew he needed to thank Blair with more than sex. He wanted to take him to dinner, but when he got upstairs, Blair was sleeping. Jim took his clothes off and joined him for a nap. Jim would thank him later. Jim was very grateful for Blair and their life together and would have to show him for the rest of his life. 

The end


End file.
